I think the world of Michaela Coel. I think she's such a talented actress, screenwriter, director, producer, and all-around badass woman. Plus, she's freaking gorgeous.
I first discovered her in Netflix's Chewing Gum, which follows a young woman trying way too hard to lose her virginity. She has since gone on to star in the television drama Black Earth Rising and presently, starring, producing, and directing HBO's new breakout hit, I May Destroy You. I had all intention to watch this in real-time, but I got so overwhelmed with new content that it fell to the bottom of my watchlist. If you aren't familiar, I May Destroy You focuses on Arabella, a viral writer, who has a seemingly great life until her drink gets spiked with a date-rape drug one night out with a friend. She then starts to question everything and everyone she knows and works to rebuild her life. When I decided to binge the season to see what the hype was about, I was surprised to learn `Coel's sexual assault inspired the show's premise.
When I started the first episode, I didn't know what to expect, but I almost immediately found myself fascinated with the main protagonist, Arabella. Honestly, Arabella already looked like she didn't have her shit together, which is something I identify with being 24, job searchin', and surviving in the middle of an ongoing pandemic. However, Arabella spirals QUICKLY and I realized we do not have the same problems. I don't blame her, though. Let's break down her points of duress, shall we?
I finished season one and I want to address some key things that were fucked up and/or broke my heart for Arabella. *SPOILERS* Read at your own risk.
Arabella's "friends" ARE ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. After she figures out and tells her friends she was sexually assaulted, we find out quickly that her friend Simon who she met up with the night she was assaulted LEFT HER TO GO BE AN ADULTERER. Basically, he thought it was cool to ditch her to meet up with this woman who he had been cheating on his girlfriend with. Days later, when Arabella goes to ask him about the chain of events that night - all of sudden its a lot of "I don't know"...sir? YOUR FRIEND WAS ASSAULTED AND YOU OVER HERE CAPPIN LIKE YOU CALLED HER AN UBER AND YOU DID NOT. YOU LEFT. BE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. On a scale of 1-10, with ten being absolute trash? Solid nine. None of my male friends would ever leave me anywhere drunk and high on cocaine. Come on brotha.
Later in the season, Arabella finds out that her best friend Terry, who left her at a
bar before to go have a threesome with two Italian men who pretended they didn't know each other (they most definitely did...most definitely), actually gave Simon permission to leave Arabella saying, "oh, she overindulges all the time, just go ahead and go,". I don't know what kind of company other people keep, but none of my friends would ever think its okay to leave me anywhere. Are you dumb? It is so easy for people to be selfish, but if the roles were reversed, both of these characters strike me as the type of people to cuss Arabella the fuck out...QUICKLY. So how is it that they are cool with doing that to her. Terry does atone for this by sticking by Arabella's side throughout the season and tries her hardest to help her heal but still...what kind of weirdo shit is that? On a scale of 1-10, with ten being absolute trash? Solid six.
Arabella's love interest was not going for any of her bullshit and I don't blame him.
We know from a flashback that they met when she and Terry bought drugs from him at a basketball court. The night Terry left her to have the threesome, he and Arabella end up sleeping together for the first time. Fast forward, she likes him, and he's not trying to commit; we know this story. However, when Arabella reports her assault to the police, they ask her to notify all her recent sexual partners that they need to come to the police station to give DNA and clear themselves of any wrongdoing. He wants no parts of the police, and he starts ignoring Arabella. Arabella decides to randomly pop up at his crib, use his spare key to let herself in, and wait for him to come home to declare her love. That went left when he locked her out of his apartment and had to pull a gun on her because she wouldn't stop beating on his apartment door. Some people may see this as cold-hearted, but I feel like he was never going to take her seriously, and he knows she needed to get her shit together even before the assault. I was just embarrassed and sad for her, but don't force it if it won't work mama.
Finally, the show's premise hurts my soul because why is somebody going around assaulting women anyway? People are truly evil and sick. We find out in the second to last episode what actually happened the night of Arabella's assault. She finally remembers the entire ordeal and it is revealed that these two guys plot on random women every night, drug them, get them away from their friends, and take advantage of them.
People are genuinely evil and sick. We find out in the second to last episode what happened the night of Arabella's assault. She finally remembers the entire ordeal, and it is revealed that these two guys plot on random women every night, drug them, get them away from their friends, and take advantage of them. Why are you putting this much thought, energy, and practice into violating people? You are so evil that you don't think twice about taking advantage of those powerless against you? Wow, trash just as I thought. Second, if you are that horny that you need to rape someone to experience pleasure, you belong under the jail. Clearly, you can't exist with the rest of society, and you need help *Megan Thee Stallion voice*. Stop doing weird shit. You cannot take what you think you deserve from people. It is 2020, and I wish folks would learn the definition of consent, internalize it, and apply it. Bitch no means no every time. EVERY SINGLE TIME. The way Arabella unraveled and tried to put herself back together again is heartbreaking and introspective. The moment she identifies her rapist made me release a breath, I didn't know I was holding. I just wanted my sis to find some healing.
Overall, I think this show is a must-watch - it will make you uncomfortable, make you cry, make you and laugh, but, most importantly, it pushes the conversation of sexual assault forward in a way that I haven't seen on screen. She isn't this perfect person. She does have flaws, she continues to make bad decisions, but her journey is hers. Sometimes things healing isn't an immediate thing, and there are highs and lows, which's okay. Respect victims, listen to them, and give them the space to be fully human in their healing is what I took from this show.